Singapore is Asia's best place to be mum, peoples back to being courteous & gracious

 

A class for mothers carrying babies here. Singapore was ranked ahead of the next-best Asian countries South Korea and Japan in the latest Mothers' Index. This rates countries based on five indicators relating to maternal health, children's well-being, education, income levels and the political status of women. -- ST PHOTO: KUA CHEE SIONG

Singapore is the best country in Asia to be a mother.

The Republic came out tops in the region in an annual index released by international aid agency Save the Children and was also ranked 14th worldwide, well ahead of the next-best Asian countries South Korea and Japan in 30th and 32nd spots.

Singapore moved up from 15th spot worldwide last year but short of its 2002 best of 13th.

Norway topped the international chart, beating last year's winner Finland, while the United States was 33rd.

The 16th annual Mothers' Index, released on Monday, rates 179 countries based on five indicators relating to maternal health, children's well-being, education, income levels and the political status of women.

Singaporean women have a one in 13,900 risk of dying in childbirth while the infant mortality rate here is 2.8 deaths per 1,000 live births.

Gross national income per capita is US$54,040 (S$72,000). For these three measures, Singapore was placed among the top 10 countries globally.

But its ranking was pulled down by weaker performance in the educational and political arenas.

Children are expected to complete about 15.4 years of formal schooling here and a quarter of seats in the government are held by women.

In comparison, Norway recorded a national income of US$102,610. Political participation of its women is close to 40 per cent and children are expected to finish 17.5 years of school.

The US' poor showing is partly due to its high risk for maternal death - one in 1,800, the worst level in any developed country.

Ms Sylvia Choo, director of the National Trades Union Congress (NTUC) Women's Development Secretariat, said Singapore has done well because of its strong investment in education and in ensuring that medical care remains accessible.

Since 2000, Singapore has cut its risk of maternal death by over 75 per cent, from one in 3,500 to one in 13,900.

Other experts say the findings, while commendable, should not be a reason for complacency.

They pointed out that the index tracks only parameters such as wealth, education and healthcare and does not take into account other pertinent issues specific to developed economies.

"It does not address the parent-friendliness of workplace policies, culture and practice," said Ms Jolene Tan from the Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware). "Some countries ranked lower on the index such as the United Kingdom and Ireland have much more generous parental leave than Singapore.

"It also doesn't consider security of employment. A mother who returns from maternity leave to find her position terminated has little recourse in Singapore, but she can invoke legal protection such as unfair dismissal claims in jurisdictions such as Canada, the UK and Ireland - all ranked less highly in this report."

Save the Children's chief executive Carolyn Miles said the data confirmed that a country's economic wealth is not the sole factor leading to maternal happiness, but also that policies must be put in place to support mothers.

In the case of Norway, "they do have wealth, but they also invest that wealth in things like mothers and children as a very high priority", said Ms Miles.

Ms Yeo Miu Ean, president of Women Empowered for Work and Mothering, said the fertility rate here remains low because some women want to avoid the dilemma of having to choose between work and children.

"They do not want to give their children the time or energy that is left over from work," she said.

National University of Singapore sociologist Tan Ern Ser agreed.

"Compared with the Nordic countries, we still need to catch up on gender inequality in terms of shared childcare responsibilities and work-life balance."

By Janice Tai The Straits Times/Asia News Network, jantai@sph.com.sg

Singaporeans back to being courteous, survey shows

AFTER two years in which it seemed Singapore was becoming a less gracious country, one social barometer suggests it is back on its best behaviour.

The Singapore Kindness Move­ment (SKM), which has been releasing the annual Graciousness Index since 2008, revealed yesterday that the country scored 61 out of 100 this year, matching the highs it hit in 2010 and 2012.

It is a big jump from last year’s score of 55 and the record low of 53 in 2013.

The index measures “behaviour consistent with social standards and expectations based on the time, place and people around” and polled 1,850 people, including foreigners, between last December and February.

SKM general secretary Dr William Wan said: “If we as a nation continue this positive trend, kindness and graciousness can become part of our norms and national identity.”

He added that more stories of kindness were being reported on social media, while mainstream media had been highlighting disaster relief efforts.

Scores for people’s experience and perception of graciousness told different stories in the index.

They were asked if they had received, done or witnessed “a random act of kindness” in the six months before they were polled.

Scores in this component fell but were offset by improvements in the perception ratings, with respondents rating themselves and others higher when it came to being considerate, courteous and showing appreciation.

About 44% polled felt Singapore had become more gracious, up from 28% last year.

Asked who was responsible for making Singapore a gracious place to live in, more than seven in 10 respondents pointed to the Government, while six in 10 said themselves.

Dr Wan said the Education Ministry had an important role in fostering character development.

“I’d like to see 80% or 90% of people saying ‘kindness can start with me’,” he said. “We must take ownership.”



The SKM also studied attitudes towards neighbourliness and parenting.

Over 40% wanted more neighbourliness in their communities but among this group, fear and awkwardness were cited as stumbling blocks.

Nearly six in 10 respondents, including non-parents, felt parents did not lead by example when it came to being gracious.

Senior marketing manager Joyce Teng, 53, agreed that it was important for parents to be good role models.

Her daughter Emily founded Blessings in a Bag, which sends donated clothes and school supplies to the needy in Asia.

Teng said: “Instilling the qualities of kindness and giving is our responsibility as parents. I’m proud to see that Emily is now leading by example.” — The Straits Times / Asia News Network

How can Singapore improve its graciousness? Chief of Singapore Kindness Movement has some tips
By Priscilla Goy, The Straits Times, 6 May 2015

Singapore scored 61 out of 100 in the latest Graciousness Index released on Tuesday. The Straits Times asked Dr William Wan, general secretary of the Singapore Kindness Movement what areas Singaporeans can improve in.

Public debate - It appears to me that we have not learned to engage each other in real constructive debate. In choosing our sides of an argument, we neglect to listen and seem unable to consider viewpoints that run contrary to our own, and the next inevitability follows: name-calling, abusive statements, or worse. And to say the least, that is most ungracious! This behaviour is also not unique to the online space, but can also spill over into everyday life.

Road users - Other than giving up seats on public transport which has improved every year, every other behaviour related to transport or road usage falls below 6. Our partners like the Land Transport Authority and the public transport organisations have now taken the lead in continuing to encourage more improvement in public transport behaviour, and we have gladly taken a supportive back seat.

Our plans going forward include seeking out partnerships with bodies or associations dealing with private road users such as motorists, cyclists, pedestrians.

Cleanliness/environment - We should treat our shared public spaces (our nation!) in the same way we treat our own homes. It's not just about litter, it can even be as basic as the unhygienic scraps we tend to leave behind at hawker centre tables. We wouldn't do that in our own homes, would we? Even if we had a domestic helper, we would ensure that the mess is cleaned up immediately.

And when asked what is one area that could help Singapore make a big improvement in its graciousness index score?

Neighbourliness - While our findings are quite positive about the current state, we also see the desire for more neighbourliness, but some uncertainty, fear or awkwardness on how to get started. If we live in comfortable and positive neighbourhood environments, it will be just so much more pleasant for us. And we will take that positivity and pleasantness to other people in other shared public spaces.

The Graciousness Index has continued to move up, from 53 in 2013 to 55 in 2014, and to 61 in 2015. This year’s rise is led by a growing sense of positive perceptions about kindness and graciousness in Singapore, with respondents rating both themselves and others higher when it comes to being considerate, courteous and showing appreciation. Read more: http://kindness.sg/blog/2015/05/05/graciousness-index-shows-further-improvement/

A father’s love for his family

You don’t need words to express how you feel when deeds can clearly get the message across

BEING close to 1,000km away from home by air indirectly means that a lot of times, I will miss out on many celebrations in Kuching.

Earlier this month, the Sarawakians were celebrating Gawai, or the harvest festival in the state.

Although the Dragon Boat Festival is also celebrated here, it is not the same without my mother’s home-made dumplings.

The faster pace of life here coupled with the number of activities I can do keep me occupied and provide me with a sense of fulfilment.

However, when I slow down, I will feel homesick once in a while.

Not long ago, I called my father to tell him that I would like to fly back to Kuching for a break.

He told me to save the flight money and “rest” because he thinks that flying can be a bit of a hassle.

It may sound odd as to why a father would tell his daughter not to go home for those reasons.

Flight tickets are very affordable these days especially during the off peak seasons or when the airlines are running a promotion.

And while it does take some effort to get to the airport, check-in and fly back all that usually takes about four hours (assuming there is no delay with the flight).

For a round trip back to my hometown, it possibly costs me a few hundred ringgit and eight hours of travelling but that, according to my father, is an unnecessary waste of time and money.

“Save your hard-earned money for better use,” he would say.

So, usually, I will fly back twice a year; once during Chinese New Year and another trip will be made as and when I want to.

“There really is no need to come back so often. It is such a chore. All you have to do is call us more often,” he argued.

I did not argue that it would not be the same because my father’s logic is slightly different from others’ and he is a bit stubborn.

“A bit” may be an understatement based on my mother’s standard but that is my father.

A man of few words who sometimes says things that people least expect and to a certain degree, mysterious.

Mysterious in a sense that no one in the family knows what he really thinks and how he really feels.

Sometimes I ask, “Why?”, and he will reply, “Don’t ask so much”.

Surprisingly, asking questions is part and parcel of what I do for a living now.

Compared to my mother, who will show her concern and express her thoughts overtly (and most of the times excessively), my father appears somewhat “emotionally detached”.

My mother is the kind who will impose her values and what she thinks is good on her children but my father appears cool and easy-going with many of the decisions his children make in life.

The difference in their approaches became antecedent to their arguments but my mother will usually have the last word.

When my mother gets angry, we usually know the reason but when my father becomes furious, the cause is mostly unknown.

Hence, that makes me wonder more, “Why?”

I cannot even comprehend the kind of food he loves – duck neck and fish head.

Most people prefer the meaty parts.

After countless “whys” on the subject, I finally realised that, all these are just the ways my father expresses his love.

He leaves the best for his family.

He swallows his pain, conceals his emotions because he does not want others to worry.

It is also because “by default” based on most societies’ standards, a man has to put a strong front to provide for and to protect his family.

His love is in his actions but not words, subtle yet powerful, silent yet beautiful. That, is a father’s love for his family.

> Ng Bei Shan, a business journalist with The Star, salutes all the fathers for being a warrior of their families. She hopes those who are able to celebrate the coming Father’s Day to treasure the moments with their heroes and gently reminds those who cannot make it back home to give their fathers a warm greeting.

 Contributed by  # BAH! Ng Bei Shan
Ng Bei Shan, a business journalist with the Star, salutes all the fathers for being a warrior of their families. She hopes those who are able to celebrate the coming Father's Day to treasure the moments with their heroes and gently reminds those who cannot make it back home to give their fathers a warm greeting.

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Malaysian man rescued daughter from sex trade

MALACCA: A man had to storm into a house and put up a fight with two men to rescue his 13-year-old daughter from prostitution.

He received a phone call from a woman, believed to be the landlady, who informed him that she had seen two men bringing in other men to the house where the girl was.

He then stormed into the house and found two men inside in the house. The two tried to stop him from rescuing his daughter.

He shouted at the top of his voice when the two men tried to assault him and neighbours came to help him to get his daughter away from there.

Now, with the girl under the care of the Welfare Department, all the father now wants is for his daughter to know how much he loved her and to explain to her why he did what he did.

“I also want to ask her why she got involved with drugs. I told her so many times in the past not to mix with bad hats,” he said in a choking voice yesterday, adding that he had been unable to sleep ever since the incident.

“I can’t believe this is happening. I am still very traumatised.”

“My girl said that she was also into drugs and received RM20 per sex session from her boyfriend, who also brought her to hotels,” he added.

“I broke down when I saw my daughter and also felt embarrassed when I was told by one of the neighbours that she was among several teenagers involved in prostitution in the area.”

Asked about how his wife was handling the situation, he simply said she was “very disappointed” and refused to talk about what she was going through.

The father said the incident on July 26 was the third time the girl had run away from home.

“My heart sank when I received a tip-off from an anonymous person that my daughter was soliciting for clients at a house in Taman Peringgit. She is my favourite. I love her so much that I never raised my voice or hand when she was mischievous,” he added.

The 46-year-old father of four said his daughter excelled in her studies until she joined the wrong company after her UPSR examinations adding that she was also good in sports and had won several tournaments.

The businessmansaid he would never forgive those who prostituted his “darling daughter”, who had run away from home for the first time with her 26-year-old boyfriend in October last year after he had held a dinner to celebrate when she scored 3As in the UPSR.

Police managed to track her down after he lodged a report and a medical examination revealed that she had been raped.

She ran away again with her boyfriend within hours of being found. This time, the couple went to Ampang, Kuala Lumpur.

The family went looking for her again and the father accessed her Facebook account and found out that the daughter’s boyfriend had posted on his account that sexual services were being offered – with his daughter’s details.

He added that he managed to get his daughter back with some friends although the boyfriend managed to escape.

She ran away for the third time in June – and then came the call from the landlady.

Meanwhile, Malacca police have launched a manhunt for a 26-year-old man, who purportedly pimped the girl to nine men.

Malacca police chief Senior Deputy Commissioner Datuk Chuah Ghee Lye said a 36-year-old client has also been charged under Section 376 of the Penal Code on Aug 2 for allegedly having sex with the girl adding that they were hunting for the remaining eight men.

By R.S.N. MURALI  The Star/Asia News Network

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Life is not meant to be lived alone

Aunty is not just talking about any Tom, Dick or Harry. It’s husband material she’s looking for!
  - Life is not meant to be lived alone. No matter how many friends and relatives you have, there is nothing like someone to grow old with.

MY daughter just changed jobs. I called her at the end of her first day to enquire how it went. She started telling me about how pleased she was with her new office and her immediate supervisor.

I couldn’t contain myself and interrupted her: “Okay good, but are there any nice guys around?”

That stopped her in mid-sentence and after a moment of silence, she sighed and said, “Oh Mum, give it up, will you?”

Yes, I was more concerned about my daughter’s dating prospects than her job prospects.

Why am I worried? Because she’s 25, single and not dating. As my friend intoned: “If they don’t meet the right guy in college or university, it will be very hard for them to do so later on.”

This may be true once but it is now debatable since women overwhelmingly make up the number of undergraduates in our public universities.

So London mayor Boris Johnson couldn’t be more wrong when he said Malaysian women were entering university in droves because “they have got to find men to marry”.

He made the quip upon hearing Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak say women make up 68% of the latest public university intake at the launch of the World Islamic Economic Forum.

And that is really the biggest obstacle to the dating-mating game – this changed power structure between men and women.

As I have said before, thanks to education, job opportunities and contraceptives, women have the means to shape and control their own destiny.

They are on the rise and taking over in many fields. I attended a meeting recently at a top local bank to discuss a project and in the room were representatives from the bank, the advertising agency, a TV station and my own media company – all women except for one chap who didn’t say a word throughout the meeting. I never found out who he is and what he was doing at the meeting.

That meeting wasn’t the only one I have attended that was dominated by women; it happens all the time.

Women are so high-achieving at a relatively young age – VPs or senior managers before they are 35 – that they are leaving the guys in the dust, both in the career and marriage stakes.

A dear friend who is very pretty, has a great personality and just turned 40 is a top manager in her company. She is single and, over coffee, she agreed that dating in the 21st century is complicated for this very reason.

Because she is able to more than provide for herself, she isn’t willing to settle for just any guy. And she doesn’t think it’s worth the effort.

And really, where have all the men gone? They can’t all be chefs or mobile phone salesmen and repairmen, can they?

According to a 2011 report, globally, attitudes to sex and marriage have changed under the pressures of wealth and modernisation.

In Western society, it has led to divorce and illegitimacy; in Asia “later marriage, less marriage and (to some extent) more divorce”.

The Economist goes on to say that in Japan, Taiwan, South Korea and Hong Kong, women were marrying later (at 29-30 years old) and more and more are simply not marrying at all. In 2010, it was found that one-third of Japanese women in their 30s were single.

Not only that: 37% of all women in Taiwan aged 30-34 were single, as were 21% of 35 to 39-year-olds.

“If women are unmarried entering their 40s, they will almost certainly neither marry nor have a child,” said the report.

It went to say that the “Asian avoidance of marriage is new, and striking” because 30 years ago, just 2% of women were single in most Asian countries. Now it’s closer to 25% among women in their 30s.

Basically, Asian women are quite content to stay single because they don’t see a lot of benefits in getting hitched. They seem to take quite well to the celibate life too. At least that’s what the Economist says.

And it shows no sign of levelling off, according to Prof Gavin W. Jones of the National University of Singapore. In an April 2013 report, he says this East Asian trend in singlehood has accelerated in Japan and South Korea over the past decade, leaving the governments “nonplussed” as to how to reverse it.

In Malaysia, the situation may not be so dire but I am anxious for my daughters (my other daughter is 22 and not dating either) who, I think, are just not trying hard enough. They would rather chill at home than party or go clubbing.

I thoroughly irritate them with my attempts at match-making but I persist. After much prodding and telling them they were getting fat and unhealthy, they both joined a gym. It hasn’t helped in getting them dates though. Maybe most of the guys who love working out are not into girls.

Why do I persist? It’s not because I have no faith in my girls to take care of themselves; they are well educated and already hold decent jobs.

It’s because I believe life is not meant to be lived alone. No matter how many friends and relatives you have, there is nothing like having someone to grow old with and to be there for you no matter what.

True, marriage may not be for everyone and it doesn’t always work out. But I want my kids to have a shot at it. Like the wife of the protagonist in the movie, Shall We Dance?, says: We need a witness to our lives. There are a billion people on the planet ... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage ... You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.’”

Where have all the young men gone? 

SO AUNTY , SO WHAT? BY JUNE H.L.WON

> The writer confesses she would be a much better witness to her own spouse if she didn’t spend so much time at work. Feedback to junewong@thestar.com.my or tweet #JuneHLWong

What do fathers want?

FATHER’S Day is this Sunday and the “Sweet and chocolaty message for fathers” in The Star the other day has prompted me to put on my thinking cap on what a father wants for his children, the generations to come, and the fathers themselves.

After being a father for close to two decades, it sets me to think for the first time what is treasured most in my life as a father. Children. They are more than apples of my life. They are God’s most precious gifts that have been entrusted to my care.

Every aspect of their development, such as their health, education, emotional and spiritual growth, brings great joy to me. A father’s responsibilities are burdensome but worthwhile and rewarding.

Among them, education tops the priorities and this includes enrolling one in Austin Heights Private and International School and another in Singapore Polytechnic.

The decisions, though incurring a huge financial commitment, become easier after deliberating on their strength and weaknesses in studies.

Discipline comes in whenever necessary for sparing the rod will spoil the brats to achieve academically. The endeavour to nurture them requires, other than discipline, love and care plus lots of patience.

During school breaks, they are pampered with a holiday, either locally or once in a blue moon, an overseas trip, to enrich their lives and at the same time strengthen the family bond.

Most fathers desire a peaceful and politically-stable country for the children to grow up.

Political stability is important to ensure sustained socio-economic growth which promises brighter job prospects for their children.

Some parents, like me, are in our early 50s and very soon, our generation will be over but to our children and the future generations, it is just the beginning.

So, it is all the more crucial for our young people to be brought up in a society that is conducive and harmonious.

The country should also be free from political bickering and in-fighting for these will distract the leaders who are mandated by the rakyat to prioritise the country’s development, which includes seeing through policies like the Economic Transformation Programme and Iskandar Malaysia to fulfil the high-income nation status and Vision 2020.

Many views have also been expressed by various stakeholders, especially the PAGE and lately, Datuk Seri Wong Chun Wai, to emphasise more on the English language, to enable our children to be competitive in this globalised world.

Mutual trust, neighbourhood security, transparency and efficiency in the delivery system and public accountability should prevail in a society that treasures meritocracy much more than ethnicity.

A desirable society values diversity in religion, custom and belief that are part and parcel of a multi-racial community. It is also a nation where the leaders lead by example and walk the talk of the 1Malaysia concept in their daily lives, and not only when the general election is around the corner.

The proverb “behind every successful man there is a woman” depicts the importance of a wife to the father and the children. Her role in a family is further highlighted in “home sweet home”, “home is where the heart is” and “the hands that cradle the cot rock the world”.

The father and children of such a home are the MOST blessed souls in the world when there is a wise and diplomatic wife at the household. Her words are soothing in times of weariness and refreshing when one wakes up on the wrong side of the bed.

They could turn to her for words of advice or for second opinions.

Fathers should be treated as the head of households and be allowed to call the final shot if a compromise is difficult to come by. This will set examples for the children to emulate when they have their own families one day.

As the Chinese proverb says, jia he wan shi xing, which literally means that when there is harmony at home, every aspect of our lives will prosper.

That is something that every father wishes to have for himself and family but has always been elusive.

New models after new models have been launched but are often beyond their reach.

The high taxes have put many fathers in the “day-dreaming” gear and hopefully, the 20%-30% reduction in prices over a period of five years as promised by the Government can be shortened to say, two years so that a teacher like me can start saving from now on and be in time to pursue my dream of owning the Toyota Altis to replace the 13-year-old faithful Toyota Unser before the retirement.

Cheers to all fellow fathers on this coming Father’s Day!

TING LIAN LEE Johor Baru

My home, my school

More and more Malaysian parents are turning towards homeschooling today for various reasons. 

IF you ask Jeremy Lee* how much he likes school, chances are you'll get a rather frank reply.

“I don't like school. I get very restless, and then the teacher will make me stand in the corner and pull my ears,” he says.

Until three years ago, Jeremy, 11, was in a public school. And he had trouble fitting in.

“We put him in a public school for Year One and Two. From the start, it was clear he had difficulty adapting. We kept getting complaints from teachers that he could not concentrate, he couldn't stay in his seat long, he asked too many questions and was too opinionated.

“Soon, he was labelled as a difficult student and constantly punished,” his mother Sharon Lee*, 38, explains.

Jeremy adds that he had very few friends in school. “If you want to be friends with the good students, you have to be very, very good yourself. The other students are bullies. You have to pay them RM20 to be their friend,” he says.

Sharon says Jeremy had always been a bubbly and active child, but his personality began to change and his grades suffered. “He was so depressed and miserable, it was frightening. Going to school was like torture for him. He had tonnes of homework, but it was clear he wasn't learning anything. It was merely a process of doing lots of homework, and sitting for test after test.”

Jeremy's father Simon Lee* adds: “Initially, we thought maybe it's because we had been too easy on him, and so if we pushed him a little more, he would be able to do better. So we pushed him and we caned him ... but nothing worked.

“One day in the middle of all the caning, he just cried back You can cane me until I die, I still won't learn this!' That was when we knew it just wasn't working.”

Simon and Sharon began to explore other options, including homeschooling

“We read up, attended workshops ... we even visited families who practised homeschooling. After about a year of researching and weighing this option, we decided to give it a try,” Sharon says.

Dr Chiam: ‘Parents need to make sure that the (homeschooled) child is exposed to other environments.’

 They took Jeremy out of the school system when he was nine, and Sharon started teaching him at home. Today, Jeremy has been homeschooled for three years, and has his nine-year-old brother Matthew* for a classmate.

“I think homeschooling has helped him a lot. He likes to find things out on his own, rather than being force-fed information. He wasn't getting that opportunity in school. Back then, the system was forcing him with information, and expecting him to regurgitate it. He couldn't learn that way.

“Now he explores and learns at his own pace, and he's definitely doing much better. In fact, he's giving me so much more than what the programme books are covering. He reads up extra material on topics he's interested in and really enjoys it,” she explains.

Sharon applies a mix-and-match syllabus and keeps academic lessons to a maximum of three hours per day. The rest of the time, her children learn through activities or pleasure reading.

“I'm using a little bit of the AOP (Alpha Omega Publications a Christian-based syllabus from the United States) and Singapore mathematics. That's one advantage of homeschooling, I can pick and choose what curriculum I want to use.”

The Lees decided to homeschool Matthew for a very different reason.

“Matthew would have fitted perfectly into the public school system. He's intelligent and very obedient ... the perfect law-abiding citizen. If the teacher says No drinking water in class,' he won't drink water the whole day. If the teacher says No going to the toilet,' he will actually hold his bladder the whole time he's in school,” Simon says.

“We believe he would have been an above-average student in a public school, but we didn't want him to be a fearful child who didn't know how to express himself. So after a year in public school, we decided to take him out too.”

The Lees are not alone in homeschooling their children. They say many other families are also turning to homeschooling as an alternative education system.

There are essentially three variations of homeschooling:

> parents tutoring their children at home (like the Lees);

> a few families banding to teach their children together in a casual setting;

> centres which apply homeschooling methods and syllabus.

Over the last four months, Jamie Ong*, 45, has been sending her daughter Jolyn Ong*, 12, to a homeschooling centre near their home. Jolyn had spent the last five years in a public school.

“My husband and I want our children to experience the public school system, where they get to make friends from the different layers of society. We want them to experience that first,” she says.

“Our plan is for them to go to a regular school for five years, but we pull them out in Year Six. We don't really see the need for them to sit for the UPSR, where they're just drilled for the exam the whole year.”

Jolyn has two younger siblings in public schools. Jamie plans to take them out, too, after Year 5.
Why homeschooling?

“We want our children to have a better quality education. We've seen the public school syllabus and we're not comfortable with it. The education blueprint ... on paper it looks wonderful, but the reality is a different story altogether,” Jamie says.

“We also considered private schools, but the fees are too expensive. Schools we inquired at were charging around RM10,000 a year, or more. Currently, we're paying RM450 a month for Jolyn's school fees. It's a lot more affordable.”

Indeed, quality and cost seem to be two major factors why homeschooling centres are mushrooming nationwide.

Emily Wong*, a principal at one such centre in the Klang Valley, says there are over 60 students in her centre (between the ages of seven and 18), and she knows of at least 80 other similar centres in Malaysia.

“Students can come in at any time of the year; there is no intake period. They are given an entrance-assessment to see what grade they should start at, and then they learn at their own pace,” she says.

“Many people think homeschooling centres are only for children with problems, but it's not true. We have very bright students, and we have slow students too they can learn at their own pace.”

The centre applies the Cambridge IGCSE (International General Certificate of Secondary Education) curriculum, where students sit for the O-Levels when they are ready. This allows them to later pursue the A-Levels, if they choose to do so.

Junior students at the centre learn the basic subjects of English, Mathematics, Bahasa Malaysia, Social Studies (basic introduction to history and geography), and Science.

In Year Six, the sciences are split into Biology, Chemistry and Physics, and in Year Nine, students have the option of taking up additional subjects such as Business Studies, Accounts and Additional Mathematics. Classes are from 8.30am to 1.45pm, Monday to Friday.

Students have optional additional activities such as Mandarin classes, and the Emerging Leaders programme. They can also take up sports, such as badminton and basketball.

“The students learn through modules books and online. If they have problems understanding their lessons, we have supervisors who will assist them,” Wong says.

“Senior students even have live-conference classes. They can interact with the teacher and ask questions. These teachers are experienced ... some are even lecturers in the subjects they are teaching.”

She adds that students are required to set out daily goals what they set out to do for the day. When class ends, they recap to see if they've achieved those goals.

“When a student has completed a module, he sits for a test to see if he has really understood what he has learned. We hold very high standards for our students. Our passing mark is 80,” she says.

While homeschooling seems to have gained popularity in Malaysia in the last 10 to 20 years, it is not a new concept, says Early Childhood Care and Education (ECCE) Council president Datuk Dr Chiam Heng Keng.

“If you go back to history, you will see that homeschooling has been long practised, where affluent families hired governesses to tutor their children at home. That is homeschooling. Later on, it was more popular for the rich to send their children to private boarding schools, so even Prince Charles (Prince of Wales) went to school.

“In the 1970s, homeschooling regained popularity, particularly in the United States, which is why many homeschooling syllabuses come from the US,” says Dr Chiam, formerly a Professor of Social Psychology at Universiti Malaya, and an authority in child development and early childhood education.

According to the US National Center for Education Statistics, there were about 1.5 million homeschoolers in 2007. Today, the US National Home Education Research Institute estimates that there are about two million homeschoolers in the country.

Across the Atlantic, the Home Education UK website (www.home-education.org.uk) estimates that “there are around 60,000 (approximately 0.6%) UK children of compulsory educational age who are currently being home-educated”.

In Malaysia, data is harder to come by, but industry insiders estimate that there are 3,000 to 5,000 Malaysian homeschoolers, the majority of whom keep a low profile as a primary school enrolment is compulsory by law in the country.

Under Section 29A of the Education Act 1996, parents who fail to enrol their children in school can be fined up to RM5,000, jailed up to six months, or both.

However, parents such as Simon believe that they are not breaking the law.

“I believe that this law was enacted to prevent child labour, to make sure children get an education. I may not be sending my children to school, but I'm giving them quality education,” he says.

Homeschooling, however, is not totally free from criticism. A main concern is whether homeschooled children have adequate social interaction with their peers.

“Socially, they may be impacted, but parents can make up for it by ensuring the children have opportunities to interact with other children their age (for example, through sports activities). Parents need to expose their children to other environments,” Dr Chiam says.

The Lees have done just that Jeremy and Matthew have competitive swimming lessons three times a week.

“They have friends from their swimming classes, and they are also very active in church. Jeremy and Matthew both play the drums for the children's service. Jeremy plays the guitar too,” Sharon says.

“We also belong to a support group of homeschooling families, and the children get to play with the other homeschoolers.”

Is homeschooling for everyone?

“It's a very personal decision, and there are many factors to consider. For Jeremy, school couldn't bring out the best in him, so we turned to homeschooling.

“People often ask us What's the end goal?', but we don't have fixed answers. We're just trying to do the best by our children. What we have in mind is for them to find out what they really enjoy doing. When they enjoy what they do, we believe they will excel,” Simon concludes.

*Names have been changed to respect the privacy of the individuals.

By LISA GOH lisagoh@thestar.com.my

Breast is Best

These children will naturally learn the purpose of breasts as being for feeding the baby

As Hong Kong restricts the purchase of baby formula by visitors, many new mothers in China are turning to breastfeeding.
 
WHEN the Hong Kong authorities decided to restrict the amount of baby formula (two cans or about 1.8kg) that visitors can take out of the city, that regulation sent ripples of indignation throughout the Chinese mainland, and many cried foul, and even more said the new rule was merciless.

The outcry is the result of a long chain of events, which started after melamine was found in milk powder produced on the mainland. This safety scandal made parents look abroad for safer infant formula for their babies, and Hong Kong became an important source.

Scores of buyers cleared the shelves in Hong Kong, resulting in a flood of protests from Hong Kong parents, who had suddenly found their milk supplies drying up.

One of the better side effects of this confidence crisis is that more new mothers in China are choosing to breastfeed their babies.

“Nothing is better than mother’s milk,” says Liu Zhaoqiu, a children’s healthcare specialist with the No.1 Hospital of Tsinghua University in Beijing.

Breast milk is rich in antibodies and nutrients, and provides the child with a head start in health, growth and development. Breastfeeding also strengthens the bond between mother and child, which is good for the children’s psychological development, Liu underlines.

Excluding unusual cases, such as mothers with infectious diseases and severe heart disease, Liu recommends breastfeeding for the first six months, after which mother’s milk should be complemented with other foods up to two years and later.

“I breastfeed my daughter, and I’m confident that breastfeeding is the best and safest food for her,” says Yang Yang, 38, a mother of a nine-month-old girl in Beijing. She is a consultant who works from home and did not realise the benefits of breastfeeding at first.

After her baby was born, she fed the infant with an imported baby formula that was sent to her by relatives living abroad.

Later, after she and her husband found out that breastfeeding was better than any formula, she made the switch.

“Parents always want to give their children the best,” Yang says. “Since we know breast milk is better than formula, there is no reason not to breastfeed.”

She feels fortunate that her hours at work are flexible, and she has a lot of time to stay home with her daughter. Her daughter is healthier and stronger than many other infants she knows, Yang says.

Currently, there are many breastfeeding support groups online, Yang says, which new mothers can go to for advice.

Han Tongyan, a paediatric healthcare specialist with the No.3 Hospital of Peking University, has noticed the changes in attitude towards breastfeeding.

Han became a paediatrician in 1998. At that time, infant formula was new to the Chinese, and many scrimped and saved to buy formula for their children, because they thought it was better than breast milk.

After safety scandals repeatedly hit both local and imported foreign sources of milk powder in 2008, many parents were forced to reconsider the situation. Some changed tack and got friends and relatives abroad to start a supply chain. Others used online resources to bring in the imported milk powder.

And they also became more aware that nothing is safer, or better, for the child than mother’s milk – a message that has been promoted through government campaigns and better support groups online, Han observes.

“Quite a few mothers I know quit their jobs so they can breastfeed their children better. This would have been unimaginable in the past,” Han says.

Liu Qidi, 27, a mother to an eight-month-old boy in Wuhan, Hubei province, manages to breastfeed her boy against all odds.

During the first two months after a caesarian delivery, she did not produce enough breast milk, and had to resort to supplemented feeding. In spite of the difficulty, she resisted pressure from her mother-in-law, who tried to persuade her to use infant formula.

When her child was two months old, Liu was finally able to feed him exclusively on breast milk. She also resigned from her job as operation director assistant in a large international company, so she could breastfeed her son undistracted.

“It was a hard choice. But nothing is more important than my son,” Liu says. “The job kept me too busy and there was a lot of overtime. If I worked, I couldn’t have continued to breastfeed my son.”

Liu now works at her mother’s cosmetics distributing company, and is able to nurse her child anytime she wishes.

But not every breastfeeding mother has that luxury.

One of Liu’s cousins, for instance, has to continue working even while breastfeeding. As a result of the pressure from work, the mother could not produce enough milk and has to buy milk formula from abroad.

“For babies under four months, they can only survive on milk. If mother’s milk is not available, then milk formula is next best,” says Liu Zhaoqiu, the healthcare specialist.

At the bottom line, parents suffer such concern about their babies’ diet because they need to have the confidence that what they feed their children is safe and uncontaminated.

As Liu sums up, “the authorities must adopt efficient quality control measures to make sure formula in the market is safe. This will re-establish confidence”.

Perhaps then, parents would not have to risk breaking the law by buying milk from Hong Kong.

By LIU ZHIHUA – China Daily/Asia News Network