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Tuesday, 2 March 2021

The root of the matter: shame - shamefulness and shamelessness


A new book by Malaysian grief therapist discusses shameinformed counselling and psychotherapy.


WHEN the first movement control order was implemented in March last year, grief therapist and psychotherapist Dr Edmund Ng started writing about shame. It is a subject that the 68-year-old licensed counsellor is well-acquainted with, having 15 years of professional practice under his belt.

More specifically, he had recently completed a two-year field research involving Malaysian women who have suffered perinatal losses such as miscarriages, stillbirths and neonatal deaths, and had formulated an approach to shame-informed counselling and psychotherapy that he wanted to share.

“Shame is in fact the root cause of most of the psychological problems faced by mankind. The dynamics of shame are seen in every culture around the world, although they are patterned differently and to varying degrees in different societies.

“For example, the American society also has a shame-based culture like the East, but there, shame remains hidden because the taboo on it is so strong that the people behave as if shame does not exist,” he says.

Recently, Ng’s new book, Shameinformed Counselling And Psychotherapy: Eastern And Western 
Perspectives, was published as a hardcover monograph by British publisher Routledge.
 
“It is a rare honour for a Malaysian to be able to publish a psychology book through Routledge as it is a prestigious publisher in the academic world.

“Publishing a book through Routledge is the dream of many professors of the best universities in the world. A monograph ranks above a reference book or textbook in terms of stature,” Ng says.

So what exactly is shameinformed counselling and psychotherapy?

Ng explains it succinctly: A professional intervention to resolve many psychological problems with a focus on treating not just the surface symptoms but dealing with the root cause, which originates from shame.

“The approach is used only as a supplementary intervention and not as a replacement of first-level interventions. Addressing shame this way is more appropriate because most people do not seek professional help merely over their shame, but over some other psychological manifestations, without a clue that shame is the root cause of their problems,” he explains.

Ng adds that there are hardly any educational modules on addressing shame being taught in counselling courses offered by tertiary institutions, and limited psychological literature on shame.

Of these, most are written from the Western perspective.

“However, there are differing perceptions and expressions of shame arising from the fundamental differences in the primary cultures in the East and West. So essentially, my book is written as a contribution to therapists who bemoan the fact that shame is notoriously difficult to admit, discuss and treat, especially when the patient comes from a different culture,” he says.

While Ng’s field research findings on shame in perinatal losses provide some empirical evidence of the characteristics of shame in the East in comparison with what Western literature and research tell us, other real-life case studies are also described in his book.

“I have endeavoured to write in a style that is as simple to read as possible and so the book is useful to academicians, researchers, educators, practitioners, students and laymen alike.

“Not only will the readers capture a nuanced understanding of the complex nature of shame and its differences in the East and West, they will be equipped with an effective approach to address shame’s adverse psychological effects on people,” he shares.

Interestingly, Ng notes that even in our “conservative” Malaysian society, the level of shamefulness and shamelessness is relatively high.

Shamefulness represents an extremely high level of acute shame, while shamelessness refers to a state where very little or no shame is experienced by the person at all.

“My two-year study on shame in the Klang Valley has revealed that the prevalence of shamefulness is as high as 23.8% but the prevalence of shamelessness is even higher at 33.3%.

“Research in neuroscience tells us that too high a level of shame and too little or no sense of shame can often result in irresponsible behaviour in public, due to the impairment of higher order mental processes essential for considered, good and value-based decision-making.

“This is one of the major factors that will generate more social disorders, corruption and other forms of evil in society,” he says.

Ng is also one of three Asians accredited as a Fellow in Thanatology by the Association of Death Education and Counselling (ADEC) in the United States.

Thanatology is the scientific study of dying, death and grief.

Besides grief therapy, he also specialises in personality disorders and psychological issues rooted in shame. His venture into this field happened shortly after a personal tragedy.

“For 20 years, I ran a business practice until 2005 when my first wife died from a brain aneurysm. I was devastated. To help myself, I studied psychology and counselling in Australia and then specialised in grief therapy in the United States. At that time, Malaysians hardly hear of grief counselling and its benefits,” he relates.

In 2007, together with his present wife Pauline Chong, Ng started Grace to Grieving Persons Outreach (GGP), a free community service that offers pro bono grief counselling to people who have lost their loved ones.

Today, they work together with a group of trained caregivers at GGP to provide support to those in need.

By ROUWEN LIN lifestyle@thestar.com.my 
 
 
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The all-day educational television channel DidikTV Kementerian Pendidikan Malaysia (KPM) will help ensure more students who cannot resume face-toface learning can keep up with their studies, says the Prime Minister.

Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin said this is especially necessary for students who do not have access to the Internet or possess electronic gadgets to use for learning.

He added that the government understands that online home-based teaching and learning (PdPR) could not reach every one of Malaysia’s 5,000,000 school students in the short time since it was introduced on March 18, 2020.

“The Education Ministry always emphasises that whatever teaching and learning method used must be suitable for teachers and students,” he said when launching DidikTV KPM yesterday.

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“I believe that DidikTV KPM will help students with their PdPR, especially those who do not have access to online PdPR,” he added.

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“This channel will also broadcast news about the education world from preschool until Form Six, and edutainment,” he said, adding that there would also be lifelong learning programmes that emphasise character development and moral values.

Separately, Education Minister Datuk Dr Mohd Radzi Md Jidin said DidikTV differs from the previous TV Pendidikan, totalling 11 hours of content on different channels, in that it is now 17 hours in one dedicated channel, aired on ntv7 from 7am to midnight.

Previously TV Pendidikan was broadcast on TV Okey RTM, Tutor TV Astro and DidikTV@ntv7.

Top teachers will be delivering the content to the students, said Radzi, adding that right now, with the Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) 2020 looming, they are focusing more on programmes to prepare the candidates for the examinations.

He also said the ministry decided to create a dedicated television channel with educational content based on the positive feedback on its Road To SPM 2020 programme, which catered for SPM 2020 candidates.

Based on available data, about 95% of Malaysian households have a television set, making this a suitable medium to deliver PdPR to everyone, he said in an interview with TV3 yesterday.

“The content is not limited to the national curriculum or co-curriculum,” he said, adding that there will be programmes to build character, improve general knowledge, and showcase students’ talents.

Radzi also said that the ministry will be monitoring feedback on the programmes to identify areas that need to be improved.

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Learning at home: Azza Azrin Juri (left), 33, guiding her sons Arrizqy Izzran (centre) Arruzain Izzul, as they follow a lesson on Didik TV. - IZZRAFIQ ALIAS/The Star

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