Old and abandoned by children like trash !

The forgotten: Foong with an elderly inmate of Rumah Kasih in Taman Mutiara Barat.

PETALING JAYA: Each week, at least 10 elderly Malaysians end up in old folks homes and that is just the official average, based on centres registered under the Welfare Department.

According to department director-general Datuk Norani Hashim, an average of 536 elderly persons were placed in registered centres each year between 2009 and 2012.

“The actual number could be much higher as some privately run homes are not registered with the department,” she said.

She said between 1993 and last year, a total of 4,968 senior citizens were placed in 211 centres nationwide.

“Perak has the most number with 1,339 in 56 centres, followed by Selangor with 860 in 45 centres but only nine of the centres are under direct supervision of the department,” she added.

In Kuala Lumpur, Foong Peng Lam, the coordinator of Rumah Kasih, which takes in old folks and patients found abandoned in government hospitals, said at least one person was admitted each week.

He said most of the patients were abandoned because their families claimed they could not afford to take care of them.

“Their family members do not provide any form of financial assistance and do not come over to visit,” he said.

The home has taken in over 600 abandoned individuals since its inception in 2000.

“Weak elderly people who had collapsed by the roadside were also brought in by strangers.

“There were also those who were brought in by family members who never return to visit or take them home,” he said.

Foong said the number of abandoned patients had been increasing steadily – from seven in 2000, to the 60 at present.

Apart from Hospital Kuala Lumpur, the home has been taking in patients from Hospital Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia, Hospital Selayang, Tung Shin Hospital, Hospital Seremban, Hospital Sungai Buloh, University Malaya Medical Centre, Hospital Ampang and Hospital Kajang.

He said the hospitals would first try to contact the families, who would usually promise to take the patient home, but never turn up.

“This can go on for up to two months before they bring a patient in.

“Even when we manage to contact the families they usually refuse to take any responsibility,” he added.

Figures from the National Population and Family Development Board, an agency under the Women, Family and Community Development Ministry, show that about 675,000 elderly parents did not receive financial support from their children in 2004 when the Fourth Malaysian Population and Family Survey was conducted.

 Abandoned by loved ones after becoming ‘worthless’ 

KUALA LUMPUR: S.K. Cheng, 65, spent three months at Hospital Kuala Lumpur (HKL), waiting for his family to take him home.

The diabetic collapsed while walking by the roadside in September last year.

He woke up in the hospital and was told that his left leg would have to be amputated below the knee.

“I did not take care of my children when they were younger. That is why they do not want me now. I could not afford to take care of them well because I did not have enough money,” he lamented at the Rumah Kasih in Cheras, his current home.

Cheng said he used to work in a coffee shop and lived with his wife and three children.

He said his wife passed away 10 years ago and his son and daughters soon moved on with their lives elsewhere.

They came to visit him at the hospital once, but that was the last time he saw them.

Another inmate, also surnamed Cheng, said she was also left at HKL for nearly three months before she was sent to the home.

The woman, in her 70’s, was bedridden after suffering a stroke.

Her son, in his 40s, did not want to take her home because he could not afford the medical bills.

“She used to work odd jobs and was living with her son before she became ill.

“Her son just dumped her, expecting the hospital to care for his mother,” said a caretaker at the home.

While most Rumah Kasih patients are elderly there is also a 36-year old woman known only as Chan.

She spent six weeks in Hospital Selayang without anyone in her family visiting her.

“I used to be happy. I was working as a cashier and was married with three young children.

“When I suffered a stroke and became paralysed, my husband left me at the hospital and left my kids with my father,” she said.

“He said he could not take me. Now that I cannot work anymore I am worthless and they do not want me.”

Contributed by  P Aruna, Farik Zolkepli, Zora Chan, and Vanes Devindran The Star/ANN

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 Go see your parents... or else!

Go see your parents... or else!

Malaysians are still divided on the need of a filial piety law, but many countries in the world are already enforcing it.

IF you are disrespectful to your elders, you will be tortured and killed - that was the law during the Han Dynasty in ancient China. Although the death sentence is no longer mandatory for such behaviour in modern China, it is still a crime under its newly revised law Protection of the Rights and Interests of the Elderly.

Enforced in July last year, the Act lists nine new clauses that stipulate the duties of children - finacially and emotionally - towards their elderly parents. A main clause requires family members living apart from the elderly to “frequently visit or send greetings to the elderly persons.”

And if that is difficult for those living far away, a provision was included requiring employers to allow their employees time off to visit their elderly parents. However, no punishments were stipulated for those who neglect their parents.

The law allows senior citizens to sue their children and get a court order for financial aid, care and visits.

It was introduced due to the growing number of cases of the aged being abandoned in China in the last few decades, despite the deeply ingrained filial piety belief in its culture. In 2011, it was reported that nearly half of the 185 million people aged 60 and above live apart from their children.

An ageing population was also the impetus behind India’s 2007 filial piety law which states that adult children have an obligation of fulfilling all their parent’s needs including housing, food, and medical care. Failure to do so is punishable by hefty fines, and jail.

Closer to home, Singapore has enforced a Maintenance of Parents Act since 1999. The law also allows parents to sue their grown children for an allowance and care; or face six months in jail.

What many will find surprising is that filial piety laws are also practised in the United States, or rather in 30 American states. What is more surprising is that they are based on a law dating back to 1601, the Elizabethan Poor Relief Act, which stipulated that “the father and grandfather, and the mother and grandmother, and the children of ‘every poor, old, blind, lame and impotent person’ being of a sufficient ability, shall, at their own charges, relieve and maintain every such poor Person.”

The American filial piety laws differ from state to state but each generally describes the responsibility of children to provide financial support to their parents.

Many of the laws enable nursing homes to sue the adult children for their parents’ unpaid medical bills. A dozen states stipulate it a crime punishable by jail. South Dakota allows children who have been sued to get a court order for their siblings to pitch in.

Six states make grandchildren accountable.

As many have found out, living in another state does not protect them against a lawsuit – in 2007, Elnora Thomas from Florida was reportedly sued by her mother’s nursing home in Pennsylvania for unpaid bills. When she was unable to cough up the money, she was told they would put a lien on her house.

In France, the filial piety law allows senior citizens to get cash and care from their children-in-law too. Other Western countries that mandate financial support from adult children to their aged parents are Canada, Ukraine and Russia.

Can you legislate filial loyalty and love?

ONE of the cases that pushed the government of China to mandate filial piety was in Jiangsu province where a local TV station reported that a farmer had kept his 100-year-old mother in a pigsty with a 200kg sow.

94-year-old Zhang Zefang won her suit against her four children for financial support and care.

Last December, 94-year-old Zhang Zefang won her suit against her four children for financial support and care. They were ordered to split her medical bills and take turns to look after her. Due to their own financial problems, the siblings asked the youngest brother to take her in. He put her up in his garage - which was in a condition arguably worse than a pigsty.

Whose responsibility is it to look after the aged?

A CRITICISM of the filial piety law is that it is an attempt by the government to pass the buck of elderly care to the people with the growing size of the ageing population and escalating costs of healthcare, property and general living.

Another concern is for those who were abused by their parents when they were younger – should they be legally bound to care for the abusive parents?

Recently, the father of K-pop idol group Super Junior leader Leeteuk hanged himself after killing his own parents.

He reportedly suffered from depression due to the overwhelming financial and emotional burden of caring for his elderly parents who had dementia.

The high publicity case has sent the republic into a national debate on the public support system available for carers and relatives of the elderly suffering from serious illnesses, especially Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s diseases.

In New York last week, a group of 70-something Korean-Americans were evicted from a McDonald’s restaurant for overstaying – they reportedly hogged the tables at the eatery from 5am until dark every day, affecting its business. The senior citizens are not homeless; they just have no other place to hang out together!

Symbols of filial piety

In Japan, filial piety is embodied in various statues called kohyo no zou (filial piety statues) around its public buildings and temples. One of the most famous statues is that of Nippon Foundation founder Ryoichi Sasakawa carrying his elderly mother up the stairs of a temple.

In China last year, Guangzhou Daily highlighted the filial heroics of a 26-year-old man who pushed his disabled mother for 93 days in a wheelchair for a holiday at a popular tourist site in Yunnan Province.

Filial tradition

FILIAL piety is a key virtue in cultures rooted in Confucianism such as that of China and South Korea. It is defined as respect for one’s parents and ancestors. However, the concept is well-ingrained in many other cultures too.

Known as seva in the Indian culture, filial piety is demonstrated at various traditional ceremonies including weddings where the young would serve milk to the elders and wash their feet.

In the Malay culture, the tale of Si Tanggang is used to caution the young on the consequences of filial impiety.

Si Tanggang is a poor young boy who goes off to sea in search of his fortunes. He promises to return for his mother when he makes something of himself. However, when he gets rich, he forgets her. When he returns after many years, she rushes to the shore with his favourite dish, but Si Tanggang is so ashamed of his poor mother that he refuses to acknowledge her. Worse, he orders his men to throw her off his ship. Heartbroken, Si Tanggang’s mother prays for God to turn him into stone.

For the Muslims, filial piety is asserted in various Quran verses and Hadith. A common reminder is “Heaven is at the bottom of your mother’s feet.”

Similarly, in the Jewish and Christian traditions, filial piety is asserted in various instances of their holy texts, such as the Fifth Commandment which says “Honor your father and your mother”.

Contributed by Hariati Azizan The Star/Asia News Network

A question of talent in Malaysia

In addition to drawing Malaysians home to work, we should equip, educate and train citizens so that they have equal opportunities to excel.

The success of Talent Corporation – a brilliant idea by the prime minister to lure Malaysians abroad to return home to live and work – has been quite impressive.

I am told that many talented Malaysians have answered the prime minister’s call to help transform the nation’s economy and I’d like to think that these Malaysians have returned not just because of the lower tax rate and other personal incentives (such as tax exemptions for two completely knocked down cars) but because they truly have something valuable to offer the country.

I do not for a moment think that these Malaysians returned because they found it tough to work abroad.

Instead, I think they have taken the opportunity under the Talent Corp programme to contribute their expertise and talent to Malaysia’s growth and development.

Although it has been successful since its inception in 2011, Talent Corp (and other organisations that provide incentives to lure Malaysians home) can only be a short-term solution at best.

The longer we rely on Talent Corp, the deeper the failings of our system will get and the more serious they will become. We will continue to be unable to provide the educational training necessary to produce a skilled workforce or to retain existing Malaysians.

There are many reasons why people emigrate and work elsewhere but most leave the country because they believe that their prospects in life will improve or because they no longer feel they belong – alienation and social injustice have driven them away.

Hence, while many millions have been spent on Talent Corp (and spent wisely), I urge the government to remain committed to building capacities within our country as well.

I am not thinking of spending millions of ringgit a la BR1M (people's aid) but of giving the nation the right dose of the good old work ethic.

Schools, besides exhibiting photographs of leaders, should be places where the right values can be inculcated.

The government, via the state apparatus available to it, needs to emphasise on a daily basis the importance of hard work and the inherent character-building effects of such an effort: for example, we’d certainly have enough television airtime for educational programmes if we were to dispense with some of the more sensational shows.

The effects on employment will be obvious. If we look objectively at why we need so many foreign workers, a large chunk of our workforce neither has the right work attitude nor does it feel sufficiently motivated to work hard.

It’s true that some employers take advantage of the presence of foreign workers to depress wages but it also quite clear to many employers that foreign workers work harder and smarter.

It’s not good policy to live with this situation and look for the easy way out (that is, to keep relying on and exploiting foreign labour) without putting serious effort into changing the values and attitudes of our own workforce.

In my experience there is hardly anyone who is incorrigibly bad and beyond help.

People want to better themselves but sometimes they need to be given a leg up. Everyone is capable of realising his or her true potential through nurture, patience and perseverance.

The attitudinal change we need in this country must come from our political leaders as well as employees and employers.

Malaysians are capable of many things and must never doubt this: the sacrifice we all need to make is to be patient, to endure the difficulties of training, and to help the less able and skilled to achieve their goals.

If an analogy is required, I shall say that leaders must learn to appreciate growing their own vegetables and rearing their own chickens. The satisfaction that comes from this is far more valuable than just depending solely on buying groceries from air-conditioned supermarkets.

This is where we must embrace the culture of meritocracy wholeheartedly.

In Malaysia today, meritocracy is a bogeyman, especially among Malays, who are terribly afraid of it without even knowing what it is, and we must discard the notion that meritocracy will have unintended discriminatory or negative effects on any given social group or ethnic community.

Let’s start by understanding what the word means, which is simply this: if we have ability and talent, then we should be rewarded.

We should not reward someone merely because he or she belongs to a certain class or has some inherited privileges.

The idea is simply to inspire and motivate all citizens through ability and sheer hard work. It also means that society and government have a grave responsibility to equip, educate and train citizens so that they have equal opportunities to excel and contribute to our nation.

Citizens can then propel themselves forward and build bigger and better things for the country, which in turn transforms our economy and society. It’s a liberating idea.

Women in our workforce, for example, are fully capable of taking on more demanding tasks at senior levels but we only hear of policies intending to provide them more access to top positions – little has happened to translate policy into action.

The prejudice against women bosses is still widespread and is based on a lack of appreciation for the positive contributions they make.

The skill sets that women bring to the table are largely ignored by men who are worried that their own positions will be threatened.

But as long as women are ignored at the top levels of decision making, the country will lose out on capturing the special talents and skills they possess.

There is also a great deal of prejudice in our society against gays and other minorities who, from my personal experience, are as diligent and capable of great achievements as anyone else.

I have friends who are world-class professionals and possess great ability and integrity who belong to these minorities, and yet we seem to love waging war against them for reasons I cannot comprehend.

If we put more emphasis on creating enemies among our own people, or putting up barriers to excellence because others “threaten” our own positions, then we will never produce the right attitudes or values.

The government must lead, inspire and motivate our workforce by example and through the effective implementation of policy. Malaysians deserve fair wages, adequate training and just rewards when they achieve their targets.

This is a long-term project, of course, but nothing worthwhile can be achieved if we lack perseverance.

As such, Malaysia continues to need Talent Corp but the local workforce needs respect and encouragement if the transformation of our country is to succeed sustainably.

 Contributed by  Zaid Ibrahim, The Star/ANN

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